I’m from Newton, Mass., like half of the rest of the campus.

Hey, that’s a suburb just outside of Boston, isn’t it?

Why yes, it is.

Have you declared a major?

Yes, Italian Studies, although I’m trying to double major in Psych.

What prompted this interest in Italian? Are you Italian?

Yeah, I’m Italian. Part Italian.

And that’s where the Sanchez comes from...

Sanchez is Spanish, actually. But Italy is just the coolest place, and the coolest language.

Are you planning to study there?

Funny you should mention it, I am. I’m going to Bologna this coming spring.

Let’s be honest, Amy: It’s all for the hot Italian men, isn’t it?

I’m not gonna lie, that was a major factor in deciding what language to study and where to go... is that so wrong?

Not at all... it’s probably why I take Italian, too... Anyway, what do you do aside from Italian?

Well, I have a lot of interests. I’m kind of a renaissance woman... I do art.

Who’s Art?

Oh, he’s one of my lovers...

There are others?

I actually don’t have any. I’m saving myself for Andy Richter.

Not Conan?

No way. Andy doesn’t say much, but he makes the show. Plus he looks like a teddy bear.

So basically you’re saying that girth is more important than height.

I didn’t say that, you did. I was talking about teddy bears. But hey, I’m going to see them tomorrow night, so I’ll give you my impression after I see them in person.

Are you going to watch a taping of the show?

Yeah, but I’m also hoping to get some... back stage action later.

Sounds good. How’d you get hooked up with the tickets?

Well, my friend Lenny [Zwack ’01] called up the station and got them.

But how’d he manage that? Don’t you need connections and what not?

I’m not really clear–he was kind of shady about the whole thing. But I have a feeling he’ll be spending the show "returning some favors" backstage.

It’s a sordid business, isn’t it?

Well, you can’t expect high quality entertainment like "Triumph the pooping dog" for free.

That’s a great answer... for me to poop on!

[Amy laughs] You’d think that might get old, but it never does.

What makes that bit funny, do you think? Is it feces or just the word poop itself?

I’d have to go with the word poop. It’s a really satisfying word; it’s very round.

Just like Andy Richter!

Yes, I guess there’s a pattern emerging.

Yes, one involving girthy feces. Well, before we slip too much farther from good taste, we’d better wrap it up. Any parting words?

Yes. I’m going to go with... "facchino" and "cingali." They’re Italian–the first one means "bellhop" and the second means "wild boars."