Jared Noble ’03, one of five students who comprise the stand-up troupe, went on stage, pulled hand lotion from his back pocket, turned to face the wall, pulled down his pants and
proceeded to feign masturbation with the aid of his lotion. When he finished he turned to face the audience and gave his impression of President Douglas Bennet, throwing his hands
into the air, forcing his shirt above his waist and thus exposing "little Jared Noble."

The Punchline is Wesleyan’s first stand up comedy troupe. And judging by the crowd of over one hundred students, parents and prefrosh who turned out for Friday’s event–the
troupe’s second show this year–it’s a hit.

Pete Harvey ’03, the co-founder of the group, emceed the evening’s festivities. Harvey remarked on Noble’s performance, "Did I mention it was a kid’s show?"

"Somehow, you drop your pants and people laugh," he continued.

Harvey founded Punchline after trying out and not making it into a Wesleyan improv group. He said that something about stand-up always appealed to him.

Sam Wasson ’03, another one of the evening’s comedians, is a self-described mix of Woody Allen, Betty Friedan and Elian Gonzales.

During his set, he made light of issues such as child molestation ("I finally got a girl who was willing to sleep with me this evening. Unfortunately her t-ball practice ran late."),
Wesleyan’s newly formed Cunt Club ("How about the Cunt Club. I’ll have a turkey cunt club on Rye and I’ll provide the mayonnaise."), and Asian Awareness Month ("I was going to break up with my Asian girlfriend Mulan, but its Asian Awareness Month and I wouldn’t want to seem unaware.").

After the show, Wasson admitted the audience’s response was a little more dismal than he expected, and contemplated whether or not some topics are off-limits for comedic purposes.

"Making light of people’s pain should be off limits, but not making light of people," Wasson said.

He gladly pointed out, however, that since the show, his sex life has been great.

"I have had sex 47 different times with 54 different girls, two geese, two bottles of Bombay Sapphire gin and Gerald Ford," he said.

Betsy Ware ’03, the only female in the group, began her set by explaining why she joined the group.

"I thought it was about time somebody with a fucking vagina got up here," Ware said. "But then I heard Sam was already doing something."

In her act, Ware mainly discussed "things I don’t get." One target was the food product, Tofu.

"It doesn’t have any taste to it," she said, "Don’t you Tofu eaters understand your just the butt of somebody’s big joke?"

She also admitted she doesn’t understand "the whole twin thing... Twins are weird."

And finally, to prove she was definitely not the girl next door, Ware said, "I don’t understand women who spit [after oral sex]... embrace the cum."

Ware explained why much of the evening’s comedy had to do with sex.

"I think sexual issues and differences between males and females can pretty much always be funny," she said, "Those are things that everyone can relate to and I think something is
funnier when people can relate to it."

Asked whether or not comedians should worry about sensitive subjects, Ware replied, "There are probably things that would be very difficult to make funny. But we’re also entering the post P.C. era where everyone feels the need to stop being polite and start getting real."

"That isn’t mine–it’s from the opening of the Real World," Ware admitted. "But you get the point."

John Behlmann ‘03, the other co-founder of the group, was the last student comedian to perform Friday. He opened by talking about his Spring Break.

"For Spring Break I went [home] to Texas," Behlmann said, "I didn’t do much unless you count cattle."

Much of Behlmann’s routine dealt with the topic of men.

"Men have a way of lowering the maturity level in the room to accommodate the most immature present," he said.

After the show, Behlmann said his niche was "Seinfieldesque." "I talk about quirky little things that happen in life," he explained.

Behlmann also claimed that his and the other comic’s humor was largely sexually based in order to relate to the audience.

"My audience was college students, and their mind is always on sex," he said.

The group is hoping to attract new, more diverse members next year.

"Part of the reason why we did the show during prefrosh week was to get more new students interested next year," Harvey said.

Harvey plans to remain active with the group for a long time, bringing stand-up comedy to the campus. But just what kind of comedy will Punchline bring? Wasson was eager to give his idea of comedy.

"Comedy is Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones," he said. He then paused and contemplated for a moment before asking: "Was that funny? I could do better. No, no. Scratch that. Comedy is Haley Joel Osment trying to mount a mahogany dresser."

Steve Martin would be proud.