Meat-eaters can’t be converted By Cory Miller Let me begin by saying that I respect what WARN is doing. While their demonstration was laughable and outrageous, it shows a passion that is foreign to many I know. But seriously, this has gone way too far. Our school has become a caricature of itself. I felt like I walked onto the set of PCU 33 1/3, and like the film of a similar name, the demonstration was utterly excessive and thoroughly lacking humor. Yes, humans eat meat. Yes, many producers of this meat systematically mistreat animals in disgusting fashion, and yes, this institution should be amended. However, this did not seem to be the primary point of the demonstration. Rather than merely making students aware of the horrors of this industry, WARN chose to focus on some sort of absurd proselytizing mission to convert all “heathen” meat-eaters into vegetarians, as if we all routinely trek into the forest, shoot deer and other game, and then huddle over the corpse devouring the remains like some sort of perverted version of the Discovery Channel. Let me spell this out for you as clearly as I possibly can: YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, CONVERT MEAT EATERS INTO VEGETARIANS! EVER! You are fighting a losing battle, and in the most pitiable fashion. As I stated earlier, and I will state again, as I know this may be pored over for evidence of my barbarity, I am completely for a reforming of the meat industry. But, please, WARN, have a sense of humor. Please. It’s really something that’s sorely needed in a community that seems to take itself too seriously. Meat-eaters will continue to be meat-eaters from now until some distant yet undetermined and not necessarily definite day when humans realize the effects meat-eating has on our environment. But until that day, and I promise you our grandchildren’s grandchildren will wonder when that day will come, you will convert so minute a portion of the population from carnivore to herbivore as to render your entire campaign utterly pointless. You really should make better use of your time. Read a book, watch a movie, but realize that this crusade is laughable and unachievable. Think of what you’re up against. Millions of meat-eaters in the U.S., billions in the world, who love the taste of a greasy burger right off the grill. Which brings me to my next point. Vegetarians, be happy with what you have here at Wesleyan. At no other university in the country have I seen such a varied selection of vegetarian options, as well as a severe lack of meat. Do you understand that while you can grill up a Boca Burger or eat your fake turkey, I cannot buy ground beef at Weshop and make a hamburger, the staple of the American diet, the ubiquitous food that culturally represents Americans. Weshop has a seemingly infinite supply of fake meat, but, as the old ad goes, Where’s the beef? Understand that we all live in a community that is partial to Wesleyan vegetarians. The school does everything it can to coddle you, and, as it was for you before the vegetarian revolution, so it is for us now. So, appreciate what you have, and once in a while take a video of one of your demonstrations and play it for your parents. I bet they’ll get a kick out of it. Miller is a member of the class of 2003.

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