by Amy Duschaneck 
Features Editor

Thought your Spring Break was less than eventful? You’ll thank your lucky stars that you didn’t have too much happen– take a look at what the Argus found to be some of the worst:

1) After getting back from a crew trip late last Friday night, Matthew Pierce ’03 had more than his share of bad luck. He spent the night driving up to Philadelphia so that he could
complete mandated community service for a speeding ticket he had previously received. 

"I spent the next two days shoveling dirt and swinging a pick ax as community service for Delaware County outside of Philly," he said.

That Sunday Pierce began driving back to Wesleyan through New Jersey.

"I was caught up in a huge accident because two or three idiots were racing in excess of 95 miles/hour. My car was totaled and I was 100 miles away from school. I found one guy who
got thrown from his car on the side of the road with most of his scalp peeled off. I spent half the night in a hospital and half the night in a hotel in Passaic, New Jersey."

The towing company that took his car only to discover it was completely totaled. He then proceeded to take trains and taxis to school. Eventually he ended up in Penn Station in New
York.

"I was taking money out of the ATM and this man ran up to me and stole the money. I didn’t run after him because with my luck he would have had a gun and shot me. I didn’t report it
because I had so much fun dealing with the cops until 1 am the night before."

He eventually got back to Wesleyan after a friend picked him up at the New Haven train station.

"I arose the next morning at 6 am to row for crew practice."

2) Adriel Gerard ’03 was sitting down to watch a basketball game last weekend with his mom and his dog at home in Brooklyn when he came face to face with the horrors of spring break.

"I sat very close to [my dog’s] face on his left and there was a new bone on his right," he said.

The dog, an Irish Wolfhound named Dante, thinking that Gerard was trying to steal his bone proceeded to bite Gerard on the face.

"I have eight stitches on my right cheek right now."

He went to the emergency at 4:00 that day with his ‘cheek hanging off his face.’ By 8:30 the plastic surgeon was operating.

Surprisingly, Gerard said that he wasn’t in pain at all. His only worries were for the dog which he really liked and the scar he was really nervous that he would have for the rest of his life.

He said the dog is very loving and has never done anything like this in the three years they owned him.

"My mom loves the dog more than she loves me so he’s not going anywhere," he said.

3) Although the crew team is on commitment, Erik Dawe ’04 definitely had the driest spring break in the North Carolina mountains. 

He was on a camping trip with friends and they didn’t have any water tablets and after a nameless member forgot to refill the fuel tanks, they ran out of that too. It was raining and there
were rapids, but unfortunately the water wasn’t drinkable.

"You could drink it but then you’d get dysentery," he said. "We went one day without water."

Eventually he made it back to the car and got water.

He then spent the rest of his Spring break in Nashville, where he was accosted by two 60 year old women during a harmless night on the town.

"I drank and danced with 60 year old women," Dawe said. The women though interested in Dawe kissed each other. They were down from South Carolina and said they planned to remain
in bars until they ran out of money or one of them had a stroke.

Then he spied Elvis and some woman came up and slipped him the tongue after she’d finished she said, "All right, who’s next?" in the direction of Dawe and his friend.

4) Sophomore Becky Ticotsky had a run-in with the law over her break.

"My friends and I were driving to Montreal on I-87. Michelle was driving fairly fast already and there were absolutely no other cars on the road, so she decided that it might be fun to go 87 MPH on Route 87. Of course, the moment she hit top speed, we drove through a speed trap. The cop told Michelle that she had been going 86. All that trouble and she didn’t even make her goal! He said that the ticket was payable to the town of Schroon, NY (pronounced Skrewn.) We definitely got Schrooned."