| Tuesday, November 2, 1999 |
| laughing through the pain |
WHAT @*$$& DID WAS not considered a criminal action, and–although it was a possibility–the police did not charge him with anything. We here at the Ampersand, however, are still planning to arrest @*$$& … with comedy! What follows are a series of our best "@*$$& (*#0^" jokes. Try them out as ice-breakers at parties! E-mail them to friends at other schools. Here on campus you can tell them to teachers, to classmates, and maybe even to @*$$& (*#0^ (we think he’s in dial-by-name). Q: What do you get when
you cross @*$$& (*#0^ with a cantaloupe? ••••••• Q: Why
did @*$$& (*#0^ cross the road? ••••••• Did you hear
about the @*$$& (*#0^ who got fired from the M&M
factory? ••••••• @*$$& (*#0^ walks into a bar. Bartender says why the long face? @*$$& says because I just ran into a parked car. Bartender says did you leave a note? @*$$& says no. Bartender proceeds to take down @*$$&’s license plate number and reports the incident to the local police. @*$$& learns an important lesson about cars, and hitting them, and leaving notes. ••••••• Q: How
many @*$$& (*#0^s does it take to screw in a new
head-light on Aaron’s Volvo?
EDITOR’S NOTE Although we know the name of the perpetrator, we have been told that we cannot use it in the paper without his permission. Thus, every time his name appears in the article it has been blacked out. What once read: @*$$& (*#0^ will now look like: @*$$& (*#0^ We apologize for any inconvenience, but we do have a few suggestions to enhance your enjoyment of the page. 1. Every time you come to @*$$& (*#0^, replace it with the name of someone you hate. 2. Call us and ask us who the article is about. We’ll put the system on trial! |