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Volume CXXXVI, Number 17	Middletown, Connecticut	Friday, November 3, 2000

NEWS Bush to celebratevictory at Eclectic HouseBy Pat Bukanan Texas governor and Republican presidential nominee GeorgeW. Bush told reporters yesterday that he planned to celebrate his electoralvictory at the Eclectic house at Wesleyan. The Yale graduate nominee saidhis visit was an attempt to appease his ministerial and priestly backers.  more... OPINIONS Editorial | Letters | Column | Wespeaks Bush bitchessuck The Argus understands the seriousnessof the presidential year decision voters face. So, after extensive analysisand careful consideration, the Argus firmly and responsibly endorses theGore Girls over the Bush bitches.  more... FEATURES  Holy shit! Studentsto live in trees  By Fertilethe Turtle Starting next February, Residential Life will begin theprocess of making certain large deciduous and coniferous trees hospitablefor frosh who would have lived in Clark, which is to be renovated in the2001-2002 school year.  more... Sports  Large turd seenfloating in athletic center pool  Spaulding Smails In an incident that will certainly make waves all acrosscampus, a solitary piece of fecal matter was found floating in the FreemanAthletic Center Pool on Friday night. Employees of Physical Plant are currentlyinvestigating the evidence, conducting extensive laboratory research andinterviews in order to find the guilty party. Experts have termed the floatingobject a "log."  more... Copyright @ 2000 The WesleyanArgus. All rights reserved. Questions/Comments aboutthe website? Email Online Editor.  Questions for the Argus? ContactArgus

Go to SECTIONS news opinions features sports *comics* For the Record  "Some suckas wanna playhard. Ya’ll know dees foos. But what they get when they roll up on Mr.T is a histerectomy. Check out the word, sucka, Mr. T’s been learning himselfsumpin’."  ~Mr. T