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This is the fourth in our series of articles highlighting Middletown eatiers. Due to complaints that our last restaurant was too far away and too time consuming for busy students, we decided to review a restaurant which prides itself in offering a quick alternative for students in a bind for time.

* * * * * Excellent

* * * * Good

* * * Adequate

* * Poor

* MoCon Quality

This week we wanted to go to a more cheerful, family- oriented restaurant. While watching our favorite show, Dawson’s Creek (Pacey and Joey broke up), we saw a commerical for this hot new restaurant called "McDonald’s." It featured a plethora of happy, smiling children. Our first reaction was to change the channel, but then we realized they were giving away free toys! Unable to contain our excitement, we squeeled with joy over the possibilities. 

The brick-walled building offered a beautiful combination of rustic charm and efficient modernity. The orange floors and purple tables captured the "dirty-chique" look so popular in trendy downtown Manhattan eateries these days. Walking through the doors, our mouths began to water as we gaped over the glorius pictures of succulent cow and chicken products.
We stood in the entrance for a moment, unsure where the matre de was. Eventually we became impatient and decided to seat ourselves.

After waiting over 30 minutes for our waitress to bring us menus, we spotted a lady in uniform and beckoned her to our table. Using the colorful numbered pictures on the wall, we ordered our food. As she left our table, our server either thanked us kindly for our patronage or cursed us in a foreign language. We were still unsure. 

For our appetizers, we placed an order of something called "Chicken McNuggets" and a "Chicken Caeser McSalad." While we had to approach the front counter to retrieve our food, we found this innovation both refreshingly unique and charming. It offers the clients a chance to become more "connected" with their dining experience, and we are surprised more restaurants don’t take advantage of this "self-serving" technique. We were fascianted with the novel idea.

For our main course we ordered something called a "#2" and a "#5," both priced at $4.99 each. Despite the initial wait, we were impressed with the overall speed of service. The food was not only neatly wrapped, but also creative. Almost everything was deep-fried to perfection. A fish-filet on a bun was one of the more cutting-edge items in the assortment, which we found to be both delicate and dainty on the taste buds. 

We were also surprised at the inclusion of "french-fries," as they were something we never encountered in any upper-end french restaurant before. After completing our meal with a slice of homemade apple pie in a box, we could not help but be enraptured with the common, down-to-earth atmosphere created by this trend-setting establishment. With tax and tip our meal came to only $15.46, which we found to be rather underpriced for such a singular experience.

While Mr. McDonald could not be located for comment, we were able to obtain some actual comments from the eatery’s regular patrons.

"Pssshh, this shit sucks my mamma’s left nut, but it sure is cheap!" one customer commented.

Overall, the pastoral atmosphere of this restaurant was quaint and delightfully appealing. It provided a stark contrast to the more refined, almost courtly service to which students at Wesleyan are accustomed. We believe that this quick, every-man-for-himself approach to fine dining will become vastly more popular in the future. By far, it was a jolly-good time.

 Over-all * * * * *