English 666: For Pissed Seniors Only

By Ted Boretti

I write this Wescrap today with the heavy weight of disappointment in my heart and the debilitating frustration of a pissed off senior burdening my determination. I have been at this upstanding university for the past three years, paying my dues, putting in the endless hours of concentration at the library, enthusiastically engaging myself in thoughtful seminars and yes, even struggling to keep myself awake through some of the most useless lectures I have ever been to in my life. But now the time has come for me to just come out and say it - the English department at Wesleyan doesn’t fit the bill. The class selection isn’t sharp enough to cut a piece of cool whip, mush less the entire cake. And I need everyone to realize that this, probably worthless, piece of editorial writing isn’t for English majors only, but for all those who enrolled to Wesleyan excited about the prospect of a satisfying liberal arts education.

Admittedly, the writing classes this semester are better than they have been in the past, but when a student who has applied to a writing class every semester for the past three years is forced to return to Wes for his senior year on his knees, once again, groveling for a class that is probably going to deny all senior applicants anyway (ENGL 164), I don’t even feel it necessary to spllchek my writing or correct my grammatical mishaps anymore. What’s even worse, is that after studying abroad in a third world country, "experiencing" the leaming process rather than learning in an academic arena, I can’t even get into the 300 level, seminar-type, English class that I’m supposedly returning from abroad to study in (390, Book Publishing - first time it’s been offered, hope the underclassman enjoy reading about it on the course book for the next three years). And do you know why I (and don’t forget that handful of other seniors) was negged? Because only two spots were reserved for students returning from abroad (who I would assume are also now pissed seniors), and the other thirteen spots were gobbled up by silly-ass underclassman who haven’t even begun to seriously consider their major, much less their career goals. "Oh, what’s that? You want to be a writer? Oh good. Or maybe travel?" All I’m saying is, a little bit of a change in the department would be TOO LITTLE. Oh English, it’s high time to work with your majors, rather than against them. We’re the ones who are supposed to make the department proud.

Boretti is a member of the class of 1999 and is an English major.