Burma Nirvana When I Was On the Path To Freedom By Andrea Kyan This past December I tried mindfulness meditation for the first time. I knew I would experience temporary pain and frustration, but I never imagined how much I would learn to enjoy and appreciate Vipassana (moment to moment mindfulness) meditation afterwards. Since I had extra time after my semester in China, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for me to go to Myanmar and study under their most esteemed monk, Venerable Sayadaw U Pandita. He is the abbot of Yangoon's two internationally known meditation centers. I chose to study under a Burmese monk instead of one in India or Nepal because Sayadaw (Burmese for teacher) U Pandita was my father's meditation teacher when he was in his early twenties and the Sayadaw has become a family friend over the years. More importantly though, he is recognized as one of the most experienced and reputable meditation teachers in the world. (Plus, I hate to admit this but in Myanmar the newly built Forest Meditation Center is specifically designed to suit the needs and comforts of foreign yogis such as myself.) At the retreat we were required to meditate a staggering fourteen hours per day. In addition, we all pledged ourselves to "Noble Silence" and spoke to no one other than our meditation teachers. The Junior Sayadaw would wake us with the pleasant echoes of his gong at 3AM every morning. Our day started with a one hour walking meditation followed by a one hour sitting meditation. We had meals at 5:30 and 10:30 in the morning, a daily interview with our teacher, and a daily one-hour Dhamma (Dharma) talk and "juice time" at 5:00 in the evenings. My first day was pure agony. I could not sit still for 15 minutes let alone a full hour, my back was killing me and every time I tried to meditate I fell asleep. My mind was constantly distracted by visions of my favorite restaurants back home, my mom's cooking, fresh baked bread, Oreo's with milk, and the like. When my body was uncomfortable, all I could think of was having one of those famous Thai massages as soon as I reached Thailand. However, I had only thirty days in Myanmar and I knew I could not leave the same as I had arrived. So, day by day I fought on and my concentration grew and the 10 minutes became an hour and those visions of food no longer cluttered my mind. It took me two weeks until I finally began to meditate properly, but those two weeks never seemed long nor did I ever dread the next day. Soon enough I was able to control my mind into a state of cool calmness and serene bliss. I became very infatuated with these feelings I never felt before. My mind was in a state where I was neither happy nor sad. Even more intriguingly my mind was clear of all thoughts. One moment free of thoughts is one moment free of stress, one moment free of anger, one moment free of greed, and one moment free of suffering. Every moment of mindfulness allows us to take one more step on the path to freedom towards Nirvana: the obtainment which ceases karmic effects, terminates continuous life cycles and frees one from all suffering. I had never imagined that when my time at the center came to an end I would be reluctant to leave. I wished for more time to see how much more I could realize. When I first arrived, I could not wait to visit my relatives in Mandalay and in Thailand, but my feelings had completely changed by the end of the month. Instead, I began to realize that the time to be spent at those places was simply a waste. I quickly lost an incredible amount of my greed for material pleasures (nice cars, expensive clothes, exotic vacations, etc.). The fourteen-hour days no longer seemed staggeringly long, and despite not being able to socialize or speak to the other yogis, I never once felt lonely. Furthermore, I no longer looked forward to the meals since my appetite for food completely disappeared. Unexpectedly, my body never became tired and my mind never fell restless. I felt rejuvenated and my mind was very alert, clean, clear and in control. I believed once I returned back into normal settings nothing could ever cause me stress, and I had a sense that I could withstand any kind of hardship or struggle. During my fourth week at the Hse Mon Gon Forest Meditation Center I finally began to understand the essence of insight meditation and Buddha's teachings. It was not about the ability to experience the bliss and peace of meditation, but more so that these moments free of wandering thoughts enables us to gain wisdom. Simply realizing the important things in life has made a huge impact on me; this is why it is labeled insight. It is knowledge I could only cultivate by myself through personal experience and it is knowledge that could not have been realized in any book or taught by any teacher.