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You've been on campus for a few days or even a few weeks. Things are
going well, but you have this uneasy feeling -- you really miss your
family, your home, your friends, your old way of life. What can you do to
deal with how you feel?
First, it's important to acknowledge
that it's perfectly normal for you to feel homesick. Many students are experiencing
the same kind of sad, strange feelings, even if they're not
talking about it. Living on campus and away from home is a brand new
experience that can be filled with both excitement and uncertainty. And
for many students, it's the first time they've been away from home for
such an extended period of time. Talk to your RA and friends
both new and old about the subject...you might be surprised how many are
going through a similar experience.
A structure for studying
It's also new for most students to have complete responsibility for their
own schedule -- school schedules prior to this were usually fairly
prescribed and families often set curfews or imposed structure on
non-school hours. Therefore, it's helpful to arrange a regular study
schedule as soon as possible. This will help you keep on top of your
studying as well as provide some structure to an otherwise fairly
unstructured life. If you need help, discuss your challenges with
your professor, find a tutor and/or work with others from your class to
create group study sessions.
Get involved!
Getting involved in an activity -- a social group, an organization, an
intramural team, or even volunteering -- can be helpful in meeting people
with similar interests and provide an alternative to studying and classes. It
can help with building a social network outside the residence hall as
well, which will help broaden your experience on campus. There is an Activities Fair
sponsored by the WSA in September to help students preview the many
opportunities for involvement on campus. Or stop by the
Office of Community Services to
see what volunteer options are available!
Keep up with the familiar
Keep lines of communication open with home. Set a regular time to talk to
your family, perhaps once a week or whatever is comfortable, that allows
you and your family to feel connected but without feeling like your
parents are hovering over you. Email will be helpful in keeping in touch
with friends as well, plus save on that long distance bill.
Don't give up the things you love to do -- whether it be a hobby, a sport,
exercise or even reading something other than a textbook. While your time
may be more limited now than it was before, don't ignore these familiar
activities; keeping up with something familiar can be a way to combat the
feeling of being lost in the unfamiliar.
Learn about your new surroundings
The Wesleyan campus and the community of Middletown offer a wealth of
opportunities for social activities and involvement -- perhaps to the
point of it being overwhelming. Choose one thing you'd like to do each
week (or weekend) to learn more about your new home. Even though you may
have participated in a community service project or Explore Downtown
Middletown during Orientation, this may not have been enough to give you a
complete picture. Ask a hall mate to take a walk through downtown one
afternoon. Read the fliers posted around campus for upcoming events.
Subscribe to the listservs for a couple organizations you are interested
in joining. Ask your RA for other ideas on learning about the campus and
community. This might help you feel more a part of the Middletown
community as well as the Wesleyan community.
Different experiences
Everyone experiences homesickness differently -- it can be a one night of
anxiety or a longer term situation. Feeling uneasy or sad can be one sign
of homesickness. Others may come out in your behavior -- if you find yourself drinking or
drugging more, eating significantly more or less than usual, or having
unplanned sex
more often than you would otherwise like (or any other behavior that's
unusual for you), this may be a sign of trying to bury your feelings.
If it's too much to talk
through with a family member or friend, or you feel completely
overwhelmed, the Office of Behavioral Health for Students has helped many students
through their experience with homesickness, often in just a few visits
with one of the therapists. Call x2910 for a confidential
appointment. Your
class dean,
your RA and other students can also be of help in learning to navigate the
complexities of campus life. Just ask!
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